I Am Here
by Jazzabell
Summary: Gin and Ran both shared deeper feelings for each other but time had never permitted them to express it. So Gin tries to tell Matsumoto in his own special way that no matter what happens he would always be with her. "I am Here..." he said...


**Title: I am Here**

**A GinxRan Dedication**

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The sound of the harsh, arid cursing of the wind was intensely whipping at the tattered yukatas which adorned the frames of the two smaller children as they helplessly made their way through the dismal, deserted emptiness that surrounded them. Before another step could be taken however, the small girl helplessly collapsed onto the ground, her legs too weak to support her worn body and her appendages throbbing with weariness.

"H-hey!" The young boy, with his thick ruffle of white hair instantly spun around grasping her fragile fingers in his own as he fell onto his knees beside her. "A-are you alright?" there was an uncommon twist of concern upon his thin lips, his eyes firmly focused upon her feeble frame.

"I…can't…go on…" she weakly murmured. The cruel gust of a dry wind whipped up a thin line of sand into the air around them before sagging and falling back down as the gust wavered in intensity. Much to her surprise the strange boy she had met only days ago, tightened his hands around her own and gently squeezed them in reassurance.

"I am here…" he softly murmured into the silence of the barren land. And before the girl could decipher any more around her, she sunk into a black vortex of endless silence, with only the soft pulsing of a pleasing warmth pressed in on her lifeless hands…

* * *

Matsumoto Rangiku swiftly bolted up from her futon, her chest heaving and her hands unconsciously gripping the white sheets beneath her in panic as her knuckles whitened at the endeavour. She fought heavily for a moment to gather her sudden lapse in control. She was thoroughly befuddled as to since when she had been this vulnerable in her sleep. It had been quite some time ago…

She continued her breathless heaving, one of her hands brushing back the sweaty strands of hair that had fallen into her eyes.

Her spirit pressure had wavered out of control for an agonizing minute, washing her room into a blazing and suppressing fuel of restlessness and heat. She had just managed to tame the force when she closed her eyes and weakly pressed her face into her palms.

It had happened again, that strange but yet haunting emotion had clouded her dreams and it had even followed her into consciousness. Would it not leave her soul in peace?

"Gin…" she softly murmured, "Oh Gin…"

* * *

_**(Flashback)**_

"Oh Gin, life has changed so much hasn't it?" Matsumoto heartily whispered. Her hands were lightly pressed upon the railing of the bridge, her eyes warmly peering out at the canopy of blue that presently blanketed Soul Society. She watched with open appreciation as the white clouds slowly trudged across the wide expanse of sky and she peacefully smiled as the calm rushing of the stream's water filled her ears. Summer in Seireitei was perhaps one of the most beautiful experiences in the world but of course spring here was also quite breathtaking… cherry blossoms powdering the vistas with their avid displays of reds, pinks and whites…

So arrogant, those cherry blossoms but yet so fleeting…

"Gin…?" she quietly murmured as her eyes trailed the gentle rushing of the clear waters beneath her.

"Mmm?"

"Why… why is everything so short lived?"

Ichimaru Gin quirked an eyebrow at his companion's soft spoken question and his boyish features visibly softened as he thought over an answer.

"So we can experience longing…" he quietly replied after a moment. He watched as the woman standing beside him suddenly closed her eyes, slowly assimilating his answer. It seemed as though she was drinking in what he had said. Gin frowned at the sadness that had suddenly washed her riatsu and just for safer measures and a tad of normalcy he broke the lugubrious moment with one of his usual remarks. "Don't ya think so Rangiku?" His lips had slipped into that devilish smile of his and he focused his attention out onto the garden as he ran his hands through his white, glistening hair.

"You're not being serious." She muttered as she turned to look up at him. Gin glanced down at her, his eyes lingering on her slightly pouted lips and the soft golden locks that gently kissed her shoulders. He swiftly averted his gaze then as he realised she had captivated him somewhat. He could not let her distract him, he could not let her charms and her person call out to him. He smiled to conceal his swirling turmoil and longing.

"Life's not meant to be serious." He had raised his hand up and had pressed it upon the back of his neck then as he gazed up at the sky. "Sometimes you need a lull from continuity, if ya know what I mean."

"Gin…"

"S'ides, you should be grateful nothing lasts forever otherwise we'd still be out in that waste…"

Matsumoto sighed as she folded her arms beneath her chest. "I suppose you're right…" she remained silent for a minute longer before she felt her lips flutter into a small smile once more. She rowdily stretched her hands up into the sky then as though attempting to stretch out all the confusing emotions settled deep within her soul. But some things were perhaps just a bit too unshakeable.

Gin had always been a mystery to her, his actions always instigating some form of concern deep within her heart. But he was an independent man and even though she was perhaps the only person who could have said she knew him well, she realised that the veracity of that particular statement was still faulty. How well exactly did she know Gin and… how well did Gin know her exactly … Those were enigmas that were perhaps meant to remain that way, what could she do if Gin chose to keep a part of himself away from her? She had told him everything about herself and she would have willingly given him more if only he had asked…

But she shouldn't worry about that now, why should she? She was finally spending some time with him after many long months of occupied time and schedules. She was finally able to freely breathe and allow her senses to be filled with nothing other than the scent of _**him**_ pressing in around her. The time with him was scarce but she would always cherish what little moments they could have found to be together.

Matsumoto adjusted her pink scarf and tucked an errant strand of a strawberry blonde lock behind her ear as she coyly glanced up at Gin.

"Come…" she softly whispered as she grasped his large hand. He surprisingly looked down at her but allowed her to guide him nonetheless.

"Where're you leading me too?" he curiously asked.

"Just dragging you along for a walk silly" she teased. "Besides, I have to return to the tenth in an about an hour, I wanted the time that I spend with you to be special, that's all…"

Gin quirked an eyebrow at her words and unconsciously grinned. "You sound as though you up ta' some nasty plan…" he mocked.

Matsumoto coquettishly laughed and coyly covered her lips as she did so. "I'm an innocent woman Gin, why do you accuse me so?"

Gin wolfishly smiled as he followed closely behind her. "No reason…" he nonchalantly shrugged.

After a minute Gin silently glanced at Matsumoto's back and narrowed his eyes as a sudden thought entered his head. "Why'd ya have to return to the tenth so soon?" he slowly asked.

"Haven't you heard?"

"Heard what?"

"Kuchiki taicho's sister, there seems to be some strange news going around about her…" Gin narrowed his eyes further and glanced down at his feet, if only for a brief, flickering moment.

"Really…" he mused, "Well whaddya know, Kuchiki taicho's sister giving him some trouble."

Matsumoto shot him an over the shoulder glance before stilling her movements and finally turning around to face him.

They had ceased their walk beneath a particularly large plum tree and were now properly concealed behind the bushes; they were barely visible to any wandering eye.

She worriedly glanced up at his countenance before diminishing the space between them and pressing her hands against his chest. She could feel the heat of his skin from beneath his captain's haori and she slowly began to trace a finger along the length of the fabric.

"Aren't you worried about what must have happened to her?" Matsumoto softly asked.

"She'll be fine Rangiku."

"I-I know but she should have been back already… everyone's talking about it…"

Much to Matsumoto's surprise Gin suddenly reeled her in against him as he buried his face into her hair. "Forget about that for now…" he murmured, "That's the thirteenth's and Byakuya's problem, not ours…"

"I-I know, but it all seems somewhat ominous Gin." Gin felt his heart fall at her words but he firmly pressed her ever so deeply against him. Rarely did he express himself this way, but there was something about Rangiku that made him feel different…

"No matter what happens…" he whispered in against her ear, "I will be here for you Rangiku…" One of his hands had slipped beneath her jaw and the other was securely around her waist. His visage bore no trace of what he was truly thinking and his lips were drawn into a straight thin line. He then lowered his face before her own and he softly brushed her lips as she gasped at the contact.

"Shh…" he whispered as he pressed his forehead against hers. His both hands were now firmly around her waist and he remained silent as he allowed his fingers to slowly trail up her back.

"Whenever…" he whispered as he pressed his lips against her throat, "I am gone…" he slowly began to run his lips down the length of her neck and he closed his eyes as she arched to his touch, "Just remember me…here…" and he kissed the throbbing pulse upon the base of her neck, "and here." He had trailed his finger along her shoulder before slowly prodding the black garment off, his lips sensuously running the length of her collar bone…

Matsumoto closed her eyes as she trembled beneath his touch and she longingly grasped his white hair between her fingers as he finally claimed her lips in a passionate surrender.

She could feel the desire beneath his movements and she helplessly moaned as he began to part her lips. She gasped in pleasure as he brushed into her mouth and then sagged against him as the intensity of the moment increased…

Never, never had he even held her like this and for a fleeting second she was horribly afraid that something was truly going to happen to scatter the peace that had enveloped everyone in Soul Society… why else would Gin be kissing her like he was afraid she would vanish forever? Why…?

He curled his fingers deep into her locks and he pressed her ever more closely against him… he needed the moment to go on a little longer, he really did…

After the ferocity of the moment had been quelled however, she buried her face deep into his chest and gripped the fabric of his haori upon his shoulders.

"Why…?" she murmured, "Why did you kiss me Gin?"

He securely wrapped his arms around her and pressed her head against his shoulder. "Because I've always wanted too…" he slyly stated.

"But-" she whipped her eyes up to his own to see an uncertain smiled lengthening his lips. Was he being serious or was he jesting… it was difficult to tell with Gin…

"Rangiku?"

"Yes?"

"Just promise me that whenever you feel as though things are conflicting… you'll remember me…" and he lightly began to trace his finger upon her eye lids, "here…"

The tip of her nose… "here…"

And against her lips, "and here…"

His index was pressed upon her lips then and she was worriedly staring up at him. She carefully wrapped her digits around his wrist and closed her eyes as he removed his finger and kissed her once more.

"Always remember that I am here…"

* * *

Matsumoto was helplessly braced against the frame of the shoji door her hands tightly wrapped around her to ease against the biting cold of the night's wind. The dream she had just lived through had been plaguing her for a number of nights now and absolutely nothing seemed to be making sense…

Why would Gin have deserted her like that, why would he have abandoned her…

He had known, he had known from the beginning that something would happen when Kuchiki Rukia had been sent on that mission to the real world… and yet, yet he had kept it hidden from her…

"Where are you trying to go Gin…? She sadly whispered, "Where…?"

She closed her eyes then and felt the sudden stinging sensation as tears pooled at the corners. She gulped back down the dryness that had clenched her throat and buried her face into her palms once again…

Oh how she wished it had all been different, how she wished he had not betrayed them, betrayed her… She had performed her duty against him, how could she not? She had to be strong against him, she had to obey the orders… She lugubriously sighed and allowed the tiny crystal tears to roll down her cheeks. She only broke down like the mere woman she was when she was alone with him or by herself…

She had even raised her zanpakutou against his own… why had he caused her to do such a thing…?

Matsumoto could not prevent the onslaught of tears that engulfed her and she eventually succumbed to the hurt that was racking her insides. No descent amount of sake would ease the tension, nothing could…

Gin had betrayed Soul Society and most of all he had betrayed her…

And still, still he had asked that she remember him…

She pressed her finger against the pulse upon her neck and closed her eyes as she felt the vibration beneath her skin…

"I am here…" he had whispered… "I am here…"

She could only trust those words, that's all she could have done, for now...

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**I've always been intrigued about the relationship these two have shared and I've wondered, what exactly are they to each other…?**

**It seems as though Matsumoto is in love with him somewhat, I'm not sure, but I thought it would be nice to write sumthin about them nonetheless, so here it is. Hope it was to your liking.**


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